If you’re new to golfing, as I am, you may have a few questions about the game, like, if golf is supposed to be so fun, why is there so much cussing on the course, and if golf is supposed to be so relaxing, why is it so competitive?
While golfing with my husband, a serious, must shoot under 40 to have a good game Pat, I decided there should be some rules for beginners to follow when they find themselves golfing with someone who is a great golfer.
Rule No. 1: If you decide to go golfing, go when there aren’t many people on the course so you don’t have to feel like everyone is rolling in the grass when they see how far you hit the ball. Better yet, go to a course where no one knows you, then you don’t have to feel bad when you share your score.
Rule No. 2: Don’t speak to your spouse. If he tells you that you did well on your last shot, simply thank him, but under no circumstances should you try to compliment him on his shot. If you feel compelled to say anything, say, “Crummy shot you had there, honey.” That way, you will have a better chance of being right on how he feels about his latest shot.
Rule No.3: Don’t pay attention to your score. Just be happy if you are still playing with the same ball and tee that you started the game with. Also, if you hacked up too much of the course, you’re doing fine. So what if you shot 100 and you’re only playing nine holes. Golf is supposed to be fun!
Rule No. 4: Be confident. Just because there are four people hitting their balls in your direction, don’t automatically think you are on the wrong fairway. They might be going the wrong direction, as was the case with me once. I panicked wondering which way I should go. Luckily, I called my dear husband, Grumpy, who growled that I was going the right direction and to just hit the ball all ready! I was comforted knowing that I wasn’t the only beginner out their hacking my way somewhere on the course.
Rule No. 5: Always put your clubs on the ground. I once went golfing with some friends, and because it was raining and we wanted to hurry and finish, my one friend decided she wouldn’t put her clubs down. Unfortunately, she caused us to go slower because we were all laughing when all her clubs fell out of her bag. Luckily, we were the only ones silly enough to be golfing.
Rule No. 6: Just relax and have a good time. After all, isn’t that the real reason someone invented the game? It is a game anyway, even for those professionals who rake in the millions playing.
Rule No. 7: Take a friend to enjoy the fun. Grumpy Golfer is my best friend after all, and he cheers for me no matter how poorly I do. (I silently cheer for him, too.) The last time we golfed at our home course, Pat and I were especially pleased with my use of the three iron. Usually I hit the ball in the water every time, whether the water is one foot or several yards away since my balls usually seem to be water magnets. This was not the case when I used my trusty three iron. Instead, the ball sailed over. Once, my ball even skipped across the water.
I hope these rules help you out. If you think you see me out on the course, it probably isn’t me. I would like to remain an anonymous golfer until I get to be the semi-pro my husband is grooming me to be.
P.S. You don’t need to yell fore when you’re hitting the ball across the green time and time again, but let me give you a helpful hint: tap it.
Happy golfing. May all your golfing days be sunny.