“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven,” so begins Ecclesiastes 3. My brain knows this. My heart—I think it resists. I don’t know why, but even as a child, I didn’t accept change well. Decades later, change would be easier on me if I would just go with the flow . . . and trust.
I approach new with caution.
So here I am on the cusp of a new season in my life. You might imagine how that is going. My emotions are close to the surface, which can be embarrassing in public if someone asks an innocent question like, “So what’s next?”
Change means mixed emotions
Let’s just not bring it up! (Tissues, please.) Whenever I left a job for another, I felt excited and sad. It’s the same now. None of my other positions lasted over 20 years though. I have the homeschool routine down. I know how it goes. I’ve learned a lot along with my kids.
I’ll tell you what I won’t miss: math. Let’s dance a jig to be done with math! Yeah! Hurray! But there are lots of things I will miss, especially just hanging out with my favorite people all day.
We made some good memories. Our family talks and does life together. Homeschooling is hard. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I’ve done my best. Was I perfect? No. Did I make mistakes? Lots of them. Would I do it again? Yes, in a heartbeat because the rewards outweigh the tough parts. You know what makes homeschooling such a wonderful endeavor? The relationships.
So yes, closing the door on that season is bittersweet. God has something exciting ahead for me. It will be a wonderful adventure. Do I know what is in store? Not really. I have my ideas, but I cannot just step right into it with it already established. Life doesn’t work that way, does it? No, I will have lots of hard work to do. It will be scary to me because it is new. New isn’t comfortable yet. I might get embarrassed by my mistakes. Someone might criticize my efforts or think my adventure is small stuff, or they may just not understand.
That will have to be okay because it isn’t their story; it is mine.
Change requires rest in transition
When some long-time volunteers retired from serving in our church’s youth group, they mentioned resting before taking on their new ministry. A friend who noticed my struggles hugged me and advised me to just breathe.
This seemed like such a novel idea. Why hadn’t I considered taking a rest before rushing into the next season? God never rushes us. While I rest and pray about the future, I can trust that He has it all figured out. I don’t have to have it all planned out. I just have to take one step and then another, just like I did when I started homeschooling. I took a step in faith and did my best. I sought advice from others when I needed to. I prayed a lot.
My next season will be different, but different can be beautiful and fun. It doesn’t have to be scary.
I may cry while this season ends, but I know a few things about this journey: I’m brave because I don’t let my fears stop me. Since I have accomplished difficult tasks in the past, I can do it again. I’ve never been alone before so I won’t be now. I hope you will be encouraged in your own life and embrace your changes even when new brings stresses of the unknown.
I’ll keep you posted. How do you embrace change?